A friend of mine lost his father within the past two weeks, after years of emphysema and a long bout with Alzheimer’s. His father spent all but the last three months of his life at his home, cared for primarily by his wife and two adult children, until his health declined to the point where he had to be transported to the hospital. He went from the hospital to a nursing home and back to the hospital, where he died.
My friend was shocked and very shaken by the experience. The nursing home was understaffed, the food was awful and inadequate, and the staff that was in existence was, from his perspective, neglectful. “I don’t ever want to go into a nursing home,” my friend said. And yet he was horrified by the toll caring for his father had taken on the family, particularly his mother.
It occurred to me that we of the baby boomer generation are going to have to redefine not only aging, but the ways in which we will either care for ourselves or be cared for as we face a possible loss of independence. Part of the formula may be starting now to optimize our health so that our chances of a healthy old age will increase; another part may involve creating new communal facilities that we define for ourselves. I can’t see my generation going into old age quietly, and settling for insensitive caretakers that treat us as so much furniture, calling us “dear,” and patting our heads. We may have to form friendly alliances so that we can look after each other and escape even the most benign form of institutionalization, a la “The Golden Girls”, and hire caretaking assistance ourselves if we need to.
The generation that raised hell during the Vietnam War, pushed civil rights and feminism, and redefined education and all of society isn’t about to sit in a nursing home and crochet doilies. I don’t know what is facing the baby boomer generation as we age, but it will probably be noisy, it will probably be revolutionary, and it may change the treatment of the elderly for decades to come. Let’s hope so.
Aldene Fredenburg is a freelance writer living in southwestern New Hampshire. She has written numerous articles for local and regional newspapers and for a number of Internet websites, including Tips and Topics.
Tags: health